March 25, 2010 – 10:26 pm

             Lord, I don't know what I should say to you right now, but I really want to talk to you. I don't feel like I have any great words to say or anything eloquent. I can't give you any profound sacrifice, surely nothing anywhere close to what you deserve. My longing for you is very great right now. This world has nothing to offer me. I see that you are the only Good that exists in this universe. And because I see that, my soul is powerfully drawn to You alone. I've tasted of your heavenly gifts many times in my life, and I know from experience that You alone are the satisfier of our souls. How I long for more of those experiences! To be in the clouds with you, communing together with the infinitely glorious King of the Universe – there is nothing like it!

             Lord, I am troubled because of what I see in the church today. I don't know how I should think about these things. Where are the men and women who fear you and shun evil like Job of old? Where are those who have an all-consuming passion and zeal for your holy name? I know that they are out there, but there are not many of them. Lord, please show me what I should think about the Christians who seem to be lacking the Spirit of Truth but are nice and say some good things. I don't want to judge them incorrectly. I've tried to err on the side of grace, but I want to discern correctly. Lord, I know that you will help me and show me what to think, even if it must take a lot of time. You are an eternally faithful God who works out all things for the good of them who love you.

             Lord, I desire to do mighty things for your name! I know that apart from you, I can do nothing, so I long for you to use me in mighty ways for your glory. I have seen others glorify you in amazing ways, and I desire to also be a part of what you are doing in this world. Like Abel, I want to give you the firstfruits of my flocks and herds. Please show me how I can do this, Lord Almighty. I know that you can enable me to refrain from wasting my life and instead lay everything down for your mighty name!

             Lord, I feel like I have desires that words cannot express. I don't want to talk in clichés and say things that don't accurately express how I feel. I don't want to just say what is right or adequate. I don't even understand myself, but I do know that I am obsessed with you. And I also know that I want to become much more obsessed with you. My level of obsession falls far short of your glory, of how I should feel about you if I rightly honored you for who you are. I often do not delight in your excellencies or feel great joy when I think of you. My affections for you can quickly weaken or even seem difficult to locate at times. It is amazing how quickly things can fade away in sinful man, even those whom you have redeemed and filled with glorious light from heaven. I rely completely on your grace and mercy for remaining faithful to you and maintaining holy affections for you. I realize that I am a miserable worm, even as a born again believer who is in love with you and utterly hates sin. I don't hate sin for how bad it really is. My hatred for sin certainly falls well short of what it should be. I know that I am a justified sinner wholly dependent on your death for me on the cross.

             Lord, I just long to do radical things for you. That's why you created me, and what you have made me to do. One day I will fulfill my destiny. Your plan for me is perfect and cannot be thwarted. Even though I often feel like I'm not fit to be around other people, it has made me rely solely on your grace to accomplish things through me. I am an alien, but when I am weak, you are strong.

             I thirst for righteousness, Lord. I have always thirsted for righteousness ever since you redeemed me. And you have satisfied my craving. You are sanctifying me and conforming me to your image, from one degree of glory to another. I am in love with your holiness. I have a taste for holiness and a supreme distaste for sin. I have hated my sin by your grace, and you have continually mortified my corruptions. You have set me free from my former bondages, and I am increasingly walking in the fruits of your Spirit.

             Humility is a great gift! I could not survive without it. My spiritual radar constantly directs me towards humility. There is a grave danger in getting puffed up, and by God's grace, I constantly sense it. I love humility! Lord, keep us humble and help us to grow in this great virtue!

             Praying to you is always very beneficial to my spirit. I am never your benefactor when I pray or do anything else, but You, Lord, nourish me during my prayers. I just want to commune with you. Taste of your excellencies. I want to know your amazing love. Lord, satisfy us with your unfailing love. Let us drink deeply from your holy fountain.

             Lord, I'm going to end this prayer with a list of things that I want to pray for. These are some things that have been on my heart, and I would like to ask for your help with:

             1) That I would be zealous for the fear of the Lord
             2) That I would have power to grasp how wide/deep/long/high is the love of Christ
             3) That I would understand the cross better
             4) That I would pursue the holy joy of my wife and son with all my might
             5) That you would send me a mentor and/or someone I could train as a soldier for Christ
             6) That I would not waste my life but would maximally glorify you with everything I have left
             7) That you would work out all things in my life according to your holy and righteous pleasure
             8) That I would grow in gentleness and compassion
             9) That I would remain faithful to you until the end
             10) That I would cherish your Word as it deserves to be cherished
             11) That I would take prime time with you very seriously until the day I die
             12) That I would be as devoted to you as the young Jonathan Edwards
             13) That you would help me to improve in my prayer life
             14) That I would be a godly father to my son who displays your love to him
             15) That I would never be lacking in zeal, but could maintain my spiritual fervor
             16) That your Name would be exalted and hallowed throughout the earth
             17) That you would fill the martyrs and persecuted saints with joy unspeakable
             18) That I would love others more than myself
             19) That I could die as a martyr, if it would be pleasing to you
             20) That I would never deny your Name, even unto death